


Three gather to whisper, one natural grace.
Sure shiny October, rare shady space.
Beckoning branches, bowing before.
Triumphant triad, truth to adore.
Forever delight, never ignore.
Palm and pine and sycamore.
By Mark Johnson, October 20, 2019



Three gather to whisper, one natural grace.
Sure shiny October, rare shady space.
Beckoning branches, bowing before.
Triumphant triad, truth to adore.
Forever delight, never ignore.
Palm and pine and sycamore.
By Mark Johnson, October 20, 2019

In October 2015, I was a fixture in front of my laptop. I spent endless hours painstakingly polishing the final draft of my first book, From Fertile Ground. It’s the story of my journey after my mother’s death in 2013.
With help from a trail of letters and diary entries my mother and grandfather left behind, writing renewed my spirit. It led me out of the darkness and propelled me forward. After grief swallowed me whole, I finally reemerged and rediscovered sunlight at the end of a numb and winding road.
Intuitively, I realized I needed to share my story openly with the world. That of a gay man, loving husband, devoted father and grateful son searching for answers. I dreamed it would help others find a new path and navigate their way through grief.
Not long after I published From Fertile Ground in February 2016, friends and strangers began to post reviews online. They described how they were moved by the book and its lessons of love and loss. My dream was coming true.
By the end of 2017, things had gotten rather quiet. That’s what happens with books and creative accomplishments. They come and go no matter how much you want them to linger. They flash across the sky like shooting stars and then fall off the radar.
Fortunately, every once in a while, there is a glimmer or twinkle to remind you of their importance long after they first appear. That happened last week when I read a new review posted on Goodreads and Amazon … a review that reminded me why I decided to publish the book in the first place:
“This book is a life compass if you are experiencing loss or disruption in your family.
From Fertile Ground came to me at precisely the right time in my life. Mark’s perspective and reflection helped me to navigate loss and disruption in my own life. I pulled from his examples and experiences to temper my feelings and expectations. I ultimately gained a great deal of comfort and reassurance from his novel, and I continue to think back on it often as my life continues to evolve.
Throughout the book, I enjoyed getting to know Mark and his family. They are relatable people demonstrating courage, compassion, and love. The poem he wrote and included that was a tribute to his mom was one of my favorites. I also really enjoyed seeing his relationship with his children evolve from childhood to adulthood.”
This is the kind of glorious feedback that motivates me to keep sharing stories. To shine a light on truths … both personal and universal. To bring a little love, inspiration, comfort and reassurance to a world that really needs it. To devote time each day to my literary passion. To pen the next poem and dust off that fictionalized piece that I keep going back to. To live the life of a writer. It’s what I was meant to do. It is my fertile ground.

You are a ring of lush palaces, pastries, parables and past civilizations.
Of cavernous courtyards, cascading cathedrals and crusty cafe croissants.
Of stained statues on strassers, strolling strangers and circling streetcars.
Of hidden September stables where loyal Lipizzaner stallions saunter.
Of magnificent museums, Mozart, mythology and melange metaphors.
Of baroque avenues, ornate artifacts, elegant archways and acute angles.
Of afternoon tea, while gazing at you through sunlit storefront windows.
When in Vienna … when in Wien.
Written by Mark Johnson, October 2, 2019

You were lost. Stranded on a concrete path. On the way to nowhere. Far from food and water. Farther from home and hope than you knew.
You didn’t mind when we intervened. We carried you in careful palms. Wind in your face. Legs suspended. Each step we took felt like a mile.
You were ready to roam when we reached your desert oasis. We lowered you to the water’s edge. Your feet touched the ground. You never looked back.
You were found.

There you stood, rare and bright. Defying the odds. Shining in a field far away. Flourishing in a wide open world. Sparkling in the foreground of my dreams.
I still see you, sunny and true. Unfolding under the sky. Craning for a mountain view. Growing taller everyday. Promising petals on a path I might have missed.
Written by Mark Johnson, September 6, 2019

Despite the hellish Arizona heat (which has had me in a funk) and the general absence of much-needed monsoon rains this summer (more on that later), there is something stunning and cinematic about living in the desert southwest. Big skies. Jagged mountains. Spiky saguaros. Red rocks. Dazzling sunsets.
I realize I may get a few eye rolls here from a pragmatist. Or someone who’s lived in the Valley of the Sun for his or her entire life. But remember. I’m coming at this from the perspective of having spent thirty-plus years of my life in relative flatness. Namely, northern Illinois, where you can drive for miles and know you’ll never see a rise in the grade of the road.
Evidently, I’m not alone in recognizing the allure of a western landscape. Case in point: Hot Rods to Hell. It’s a rollicking road trip film about a middle-aged couple, who decide to leave behind the civilization of the east for an overdue escape to the desert in the west.
As the 1967 flick begins, traveling salesman Tom is recovering from a car accident that has injured his spine. Fortunately, he survives mostly intact. But he’s left with jittery nerves and a chronic back ailment. Tom and his wife, Peg, decide the best antidote is to leave their Boston home. They opt to spend their later years operating a motel in the California desert. They figure it will be a quieter existence and the dry heat will be good for Tom’s back.
It all makes sense, right? But they encounter a few problems on their way west. Tom (played by a haggard Dana Andrews, who’s nearing the end of his rope and career) and Peg (portrayed by a frantic Jeanne Crain, who must have needed the money desperately) are derailed on their journey by a band of teenage hoodlums.
The carousing kids crave controversy, drag racing and Tina. She’s Tom’s and Peg’s shapely, seventeen-year-old daughter. The terrible teens become fixated on the idea of trying to drive Tom and his family off the road. Apparently, just for the thrill of it and the chance for a rendezvous with Tina.
It would be criminal of me to spoil the ending of this overwrought, drive-in disaster, because it is a super-suspenseful spectacle that devolves into scene upon scene of jaw-dropping, delicious, B-movie mania. However, be forewarned. This desert debacle includes a cameo appearance by Mickey Rooney, Jr., and his band, (yes, Mickey had a son … and his son had a band) performing poorly in a seedy club that just happens to be on the premises of the motel, where Tom and Peg will soon become landlords.
At any rate, if you follow my stories, you know that, beyond the fact that my husband’s name also is Tom, there actually is a thread of thematic truth to be salvaged here. (Even though, my Tom doesn’t have a back problem or a nervous disorder; we have no plans to buy or manage a motel hideaway; we don’t have a teenage daughter; my name isn’t Peg; and I my friends tell me I look nothing like Jeanne Crain.)
When Tom and I packed up our car and traveled west in July 2017, my surprise heart attack in St. Louis nearly ran us off the road like a pack of hell-bent, drag-racing teens frantic for on An Unobstructed View. But, like Tom and Peg, we survived the experience. Now in my wide-eyed sixties, I write poetry. I dodge crazy Arizona drivers. I tell screwball slice-of-life stories. I bask in the dry heat. I swim outdoors to keep my heart pumping.
And, when torrential rains boil over the mountain peaks and spill into the valley, I savor the monsoon storms. Like the one that blew in last night unexpectedly. Blowing dust and bending palm trees. Igniting the atmosphere. Lighting up the sky. Dumping an inch of rain on the parched Phoenix area. Reminding me as I drove home through the shadowy Papago buttes that these “bonus” years in the desert southwest after that fateful road trip are an ever-evolving chapter in a story that’s far from flat.

So many prickly problems … so many souls in pain.
So many sleepless nights … so many losses in vain.
So many fallen tears … so many wasted years.
So many bodies bleeding … so much ghastly grieving.
So much defiant distraction … so much compliant inaction.
So much to do for the many … so few who are willing to do.
So much for the sake of our children … if we don’t see it through.

Securing pink and white hollyhocks that sagged across suburban lawns.
Devouring fresh melons and spitting out seeds at barefoot picnics.
Chasing patrolling peacocks to capture feathers for the trip home.
Cornering grasshoppers that jumped and landed from nowhere.
Dodging dragonflies that flitted, then perched in shallow waters.
Tiptoeing back to school over fading July-to-September bridges.
Discovering an old empty wagon laden with summer memories.

Water is a precious commodity. Especially on days like this in the Sonoran Desert. It’s 111 degrees outside. Perfect for a little heat-related sci fi.
***
Your throat is parched. All of your water jugs are empty. But all is not lost. You’re less than five minutes away from a water station in a strip mall.
You step in your car and prepare to drive there. You grip the wheel. It feels as if it’s been baking in an oven. But you persevere and crank up the AC.
Five minutes later, you’ve arrived. You exit your sedan with two empty gallon jugs. One in each hand. A magnificent blue oasis is looming on the near horizon. It’s calling your name. It’s glowing and quivering like a mirage in a dusty old western.
You walk to the water station entrance. You fumble in your pocket for twenty-five cents. Still in a stupor from the pulsating heat, you slide two dimes and a nickel into the slot to fill the first jug. The water begins to bubble out of the machine into your first container. A gasping-and-grateful female voice startles you. It calls out from inside the machine. It utters two words … “Thank You.”
You don’t believe your ears. You tighten the blue cap on the first jug and place the second empty one where it had been. You slide two more dimes and another nickel into the same slot in the Glacier water machine. Again, the voice inside repeats her weary declaration … “Thank You.”
You wonder.
“Have I entered the Twilight Zone?”
“Is this a new Stephen King novel about an automated creature dying of thirst, who can only survive and get more water when patrons visit her and deposit their coins?”
“Or perhaps the frail voice inside is simply thanking me for bottling my own water and reusing my plastic containers.”
You decide.

A week ago, Julie Krupp, a kind and collaborative cohort in the blogosphere, sent me a note that made my heart skip. She surprised me with a Blogger Recognition Award for the efforts I put into my site.
Many thanks to Julie for this honor! I appreciate how frequently she stops by to read and comment on my latest posts. By the way, I also make it a regular practice to read and comment on what she has to say on her site. If you aren’t familiar with her site, https://juliekrupp.com/, I encourage you to check out Enhanced Perspective for meditation and mindfulness techniques.
In addition to thanking Julie, the award rules call for me to provide a brief story about how my blog started, offer two pieces of advice for new bloggers, and nominate 10-15 other bloggers for this award. (Honestly, 10-15 is way beyond my comfort zone. So I’m going to bend the rules and will nominate three bloggers at the end of this post.)
Here’s my brief (or not-so-brief) story. After writing and publishing three memoirs in the past five years, I wanted to try my hand at storytelling in real time. I also felt the need to share a mix of my more immediate observations about life with my husband in Arizona with vivid longer-term memories from my past in North Carolina, Missouri and Illinois. Occasionally, I’ve included my poetry here and stories about what it feels like to be gay in the United States in 2019 … living in a country that is deeply divided. That’s where the Pride button above enters the picture. Even as we commemorate the 50th anniversary of the Stonewall riots–and acknowledge the tremendous social strides and greater equality for LGBTQ people in the United States since 1969–we still live in a world where families, governments and communities don’t always recognize the rights of gay citizens to live full and open lives. The negative impact of that can leave people feeling undervalued and invisible. I find that disturbing and will continue to write about it.
That leads me to advice for new bloggers. Write about what you know and feel. Write about what you love. Write about what you’re passionate about. Also, don’t be afraid to try something new once in a while. (For instance, how my poetry began to seep onto these pages.) That may include a topic or format that doesn’t fit neatly into what you intended your blog to be. In my book, that’s okay. After all, it is your blog. Not everyone will love that, but those who look forward to what you have to say will follow you.
Here are my three blogger recognition nominees. Each of these individuals has something important, creative or interesting to say on a regular basis on their sites. For that reason, they deserve a little recognition. Oh, and as selfish as it may sound, I also appreciate how frequently they visit my site and like what I write. That has to count for something.
https://purplestarastrology.home.blog/
Meanwhile, as we approach the midpoint in 2019, I’ll continue to take pride in the stories I share here. I also appreciate any recognition I can get for all three of my books: From Fertile Ground, Tales of a Rollercoaster Operator, and An Unobstructed View. If you have a little free time this summer, I hope you’ll check them out.
Happy blogging and reading everyone!