When I was a youngster in the 1960s, my dad and his sisters spoke solemnly of an alliterative-sounding day we don’t hear about anymore: Decoration Day.
It was an apt description for an activity Americans performed every May 30, as the heat of summer rolled in. They decorated the graves of those who died in defense of their country.
According to history.com, the tradition began May 30, 1868. After General James Garfield made a speech at Arlington National Cemetery, 5,000 participants left flowers on the graves of 20,000 who died during the Civil War.
What we now know as Memorial Day has evolved into a hybrid holiday–the day we honor those who have served, pig out on barbecue, watch sports on TV, bicker about politics, guns, and vaccinations, pay an arm and leg to fill up our gas tanks, and race to the mall for a new mattress that’s on sale.
On this especially somber weekend–just days after the latest school shooting and slaughter of innocent children in Uvalde, Texas–I prefer to pause and kneel (theoretically) before the grave of my father rather than salute our flag. Though I can’t be in St. Louis right now to do that, I can write about it.
Walter Johnson served our country during World War II. He was an Army sergeant, who fought in Europe in the Battle of the Bulge in 1944.
Despite shell shock, personal trauma, and frequent nightmares, Dad lived nearly fifty more years. He died in 1993. He and Helen Johnson, my mother, are buried at Jefferson Barracks National Cemetery south of St. Louis on the top of a hill under an oak tree.
This weekend, volunteers will be decorating all of the graves there–and in all national cemeteries–with miniature American flags.
On September 4, 2021–it would have been my parents’ seventy-third wedding anniversary–Tom and I visited Dad’s and Mom’s graves.
We left two decorations–a couple of acorns–on top of their marble headstone. Though my parents are both long gone, like the acorns, the vivid memories are alive and the love endures.
My hope is that one day soon–for the sake of American children and future generations–we can find our way to put down our guns, regain our senses, and decorate our lives with more than flowers and regrets.


A strong piece, Mark, and a wonderful tribute to your parents.
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Thank you, Tom.
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Thanks once again for your thoughtful comments & insight. I am grateful
that your parents had long, if difficult sometimes, productive lives & you knew & loved them throughout & could honor them with a visit to their gravesite. This makes me think of the families who a week ago most likely had no intention of visiting a grave site, certainly not for their child or spouse/parent.
I join you with that hope of putting down our guns and coming to our senses for the sake of our children, everyone who guides them, for our culture, for the world really. Protecting, nurturing, guiding, supporting and loving our children should be a primary responsibility of us all.
Thank you for making me think about this.
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Thank you, Carolyn. The loss of a parent is hard enough for any of us, but to lose a young child to a sudden, senseless act must be devastated. We need to do better as a nation. Take care, my friend!
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Thank you Mark for putting this day into perspective for me. My father, also named Walter, also raised his family in the St Louis area, also a WWII veteran, would gather his wife and 5 adopted children in the family car, filled with fresh cut floral bouquets from mom’s garden, and head to the family cemetery to ‘decorate ‘ the graves of our loved ones.
I needed to connect to that memory this morning, so I donned my pruning shears and trimmed the geraniums at my new Barbary Lane home
Thankyou for our kindred friendship Mark and happy Decoration day🙏🏼
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What a lovely memory, Garry! I didn’t realize your dad’s name was Walter too. So thankful for our friendship!
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Hmm, My wife told me that traditionally on Memorial Day people rearrange the furniture. I spent the day redecorating the house 😀
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ReDecoration Day … Yay!
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